In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
