i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
