I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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