Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
