I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
