I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
