u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
