But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
