these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
