I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
