when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
P.S. I can't hear my feet
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
