he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
