This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Even my vagina gasped.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
