I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
