Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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