Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
