Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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