How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My bed smells like the plague
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
