I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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