roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
