Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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