The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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