Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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