Screwed.edu
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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