Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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