tell your sister to shave her snatch
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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