I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All the doctor said was why
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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