U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
