ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she looked like the before picture.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
