I got chris browned last night
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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