she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
