Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
