he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
