would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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