I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
