I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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