dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
