he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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