oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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