just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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