I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
