The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
