Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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