I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
