I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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