actually, I'm a sock model
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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