The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
