Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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