YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
