I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
