I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
