can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
