shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
