what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
